offerings

It is a good day.  I finished my second World Map Project, this time at the temple school, Wat Phuket.  The mural, painted on a wood board, will be placed on a metal stand with wheels so it can be rolled to different classes and used as a teaching tool. World Map is a project done in many Peace Corps countries because the completed mural can become a teaching tool any where.

Wat (temple) Phuket World Map

student monks tracing continents and countries

min, tom, khae, ju

with tom, ju (the artist monk) and khae

This week, at the same wat, a funeral was being held for a neighborhood elder woman. Over the past several days, women from the community have helped prepare food for dozens of people, and decorate the gathering place. Hundreds of people attended the last day of her ceremony Friday. Her body was burned in the temple crematorium. Her relatives will collect her bones in a few days and take them home, or to their final resting place. This has been a five-day funeral. Very common in Thailand. It is a time to rejoice in life, to remember the life of the deceased, and to connect with other community members, to show solidarity and support.  Today, her; tomorrow, you.

PCV’s in Bangkok

For me, the past month has been busy.  School ended March 29 and the next day I was in Bangkok for a Peace Corps mid-service conference.  I took a short trip with another volunteer to a National Park to see Erawan Waterfalls, and then for the Thai New Year and its accompanying 5-day celebration Songkran, I went to Chiang Mai.  So now it is time to connect.

View from Wat Phuket

I found a small gecko underneath a box in my house, it was near dead, yet moved a bit. How did it end up there? How long had it been there? I have found desiccated geckos in the house before. I didn’t know what to do to support its fragile life state.  I did what I thought best… I gently picked it up. Its delicate little translucent hands stuck to one of my fingers. I carried him outside to a large leaf and gently covered his body with some smaller leaves to cover him from the sun and predators.  I knew the ants would be around to finish him off soon.  I wanted to give him a chance if his direction was toward life. I placed him on the clay water barrel in my backyard, as it was turned upside down.  I dribbled a little water underneath the leaves.  His head moved off the leaf and onto the tiny pool of water. This gesture moved me deeply and reminded me of when I was walking my horse to her final resting place… she too was renewed, albeit briefly, by water that I had poured on her grotesquely swollen leg. How could this be, two polar opposite species, connecting with this element.

This small gesture toward a gecko brought me into my heart again, to connection. It reminded me that I do not have to conform to the ways of others. Even though I am in a country and culture vastly different from my own, that thrives on conformity. I can still be me. I do not want to loose the ability to listen to my heart’s voice.  The voice that says be true to yourself, you are different, but you belong here, your voice is important.  Not for vanity’s sake, but for the sake of other’s who have yet to free their voice. Listen. The moment is alive, you know the language. It is a melody you have never heard but know how to sing to it. While in Chiang Mai recently, I listened to a street musician play an ancient Thai instrument, like a cross between a violin and a bird’s wing. The music sounded so familiar and I wanted to join.  Improv.  However, unlike jamming at a street fair in Seattle, you don’t do that in Thailand. I walked by and the musician stopped playing.  Or, do you stop and sing?  A blind person was passing by with their own sweet enchanting melody, led by someone seemingly, equally blind.  The blind and maimed in Thailand seem to thrive as musicians and singers. They are all over the streets of Bangkok and here, at a walking street in Chiang Mai. I give dana (donation).

Pua sunset

I make life too complicated. Thailand is teaching me how to simplify, and how to join, yet I have to escape from its pull toward conformity.  How do I conform and secretly non-conform? I am a Peace Corps Volunteer, I want to inspire dreams. I give myself the mission to publicly promote non-conformity in a non-challenging way…by teaching kids to think of possibilities and to champion their dreams, no matter how seemingly small.

halloween 2012

A morning last week, it rained and I rejoiced in the sound.  I took to the garden and the ground was hard as if no rain occurred at all. I am sure the new sprouts in my garden appreciated it though.

picture of black ad white cranes from internet

On my way to the temple school this week, I saw giant black and white cranes fishing at a pond. I spooked them and all four rose up and their large wings carried their long beaks and legs slowly away.  Then, I saw a brown pheasant with its large black tail.

picture of crow pheasant from internet

In early April, Thailand Peace Corps volunteers attended a mid service conference in Bangkok for more language study, security updates, to share what volunteers are doing at their sites, and to listen to presentations from NGO’s. One particularly moving presentation was from the manager of The Center for the Protection of Children’s Rights Foundation. Simply put, though there are laws on the books against child abuse, there is little money to investigate cases, and prosecute individuals. They have to focus on high profile cases. They are taking a high status man to court for abusing disabled girls. By far, though the most inspiring talk was given by former ASEAN Secretary General, Dr. Surin Pitsawan.

Dr. Surin with PC staff

Dr. Surin had two Peace Corps Volunteers from Seattle, (a married couple) support his education in his youth and to this day is in contact with this family, though a different generation. When Secretary of State Hillary Clinton met Dr. Surin she asked him how much of the little green book, the ASEAN charter, he intends to implement. Dr. Surin graciously offered her a different perspective into her own country. Paraphrasing here, Madam Secretary, he said in his deep soulful voice, when Thomas Jefferson wrote the declaration of independence, he was not intending it for everyone. Those certain inalienable rights, were just for a few men. Not even your sex. When he finished speaking, Hillary supposedly answered, “Yes, sir.”  They talked about the Peace Corps Volunteers he had known and it turns out Bill and Hillary, through the magic of six degrees of separation, know the family! Hillary went home and contacted the family. Apparently, by another act of grace, the very day and time, Dr. Surin and Hillary Clinton were talking about the now elder peace corps volunteer, she died in the states.

ASEAN is a league of 10 SE Asian countries. Come 2015, doors will open for business between the countries. This means people with transferable skills can be employed between the countries, easily. Some ASEAN countries allow citizens of partner countries VISA free travel between the borders. English is the language of international business and is the language spoken by all ASEAN countries, but, Thailand. Thailand may see fewer job opportunities and more jobs taken by their English speaking ASEAN partners, if they do not meet this crucial language acquisition. Even in farming, considered the lowest rung on the economic ladder, if farmers are not able to speak with seed growers, manufacturers, etc., jobs could go elsewhere.

Dr. Surin gave several cautionary remarks about Thailand and its challenge with ASEAN.  Thai people are proud of the fact they have not been colonized and have the longest continuous monarchy on the planet.  They have not had to rely economically, on other countries. But because the other ASEAN countries speak English, they find themselves not ready for international or inter- Asian business, which will mean delayed economic progress.

Civil or human rights may not be a high priority for ASEAN until economic prosperity is met in all countries.  I suspect this means the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, if that’s possible. Several of the ASEAN countries are run by Communist leaders, single power politburos, monarchies, or military rule.  They are secretive, oppressive and restrictive of human and civil rights. It is horrifying to me that this can still be an effective way to run a country in 2013, while progressive attitudes and individual freedoms are assumed and expected by the entire Western world.  This has to be the biggest shock and wake up call for me living in Asia.  I am not in Kansas anymore. You can sit and rot in a jail (or just disappear) in many of the SE Asian countries for simply applying the freedoms we take for granted in the United States. It is humbling and I applaud America as a free nation. I think this must be a huge take away returned Peace Corps volunteers get out of the experience… an extreme gratitude for our country’s values.

Dr. Surin said Thai teachers need to perform better. Many English teachers cannot speak English but instead, rely on teaching reading and writing in a strict rote memorization with little room for mistakes and risk taking. Thai schools traditionally, do not teach critical thinking skills.  The Education Ministry has failed to effectively address this problem. Most people don’t get how ASEAN will impact their lives, let alone know the 10 ASEAN countries. ASEAN is the talk in all the schools now, though. He said also Thai teachers should enforce less conformity and embrace more diversity. He should know, his family is Thai but of Malay descent. In Thailand’s Southern provinces, militant Thai Muslims have been at war with Thai Buddhists for decades. It is a daily tragedy.  Dr. Surin called on Peace Corps volunteers to be the carrier of the message of diversity.  It is a good one. To be Thai is rarely a line of pure descent.  Thais are a mix of Laos, Chinese, and Cambodian blood. There are also hill tribe people that have roots in Mynamar and China that go to school alongside their Thai friends. There needs to be more acceptance of these differences within Thailand itself. On a national scale, Thai culture expects individuals to conform and not be individuals. This is a remarkable statement and really is at the heart of the transformation Thailand needs to undertake to be taken seriously as an economic partner and nation that understands and reflects the interests of an international community.  I immediately wondered how to apply diversity in my own co-teaching situation. In American, when “diversity” was the goal, schools held those “multi-cultural”celebrations and events. Maybe we have to start with those splashy “multi-cultural days/weeks,” to cultivate understand of Thai’s ethnic groups as well as the ASEAN countries. I can be a voice for individual differences and model diversity by being myself. This is an exciting time to be in Thailand, for sure.

puan aerobics, chanpern and nong

A Peace Corps volunteer asked if he would consider being the next Education Ministry Director. He left the door open, though he didn’t really sound like a candidate running for office. In a recent video interview with Dr. Surin by the British Broadcasting Company, he said his greatest achievement while being ASEAN Secretary General, was helping Myanmar move forward as a developing nation.  I believe his diplomacy eventually led to the release of Nobel Peace Prize winner and opposition leader, Aung San Suu Kyi, who had been under house arrest for over a decade.

Teen I met om bus who has hair cut like Aung San Suu Kyi

In the evening of the mid-service conference, volunteers held a reading to listen to stories volunteers had written.  I am adding my story for your enjoyment!

Day Trip to Lampang

Sometimes, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find, you get what you need.” Big Chill 1983; Rolling Stones 1969.

There were 11 of us packed into the old, but sound, double-cab Toyota pick-up. They are Thai, I don’t know everyone. I have seen some at the forest temple I practice meditation at, located in the hills above Pua where the Hmong live. Two of them practice meditation with me, including the only other woman, Amporn who teaches health at Pua High School, five are novice monks. First, a 6 year old boy, looks up to see, to escape the eclipse of his droopy eyelid. I see him working around the temple helping the monks. His mother ran away and his father works in Bangkok. His family is the Sangha (people who meditate together). Two of the men, I assume work around the temple. One of them, has one eye and few teeth. He wears large shaded sunglasses, the ones models from the 60’s wore. Somboon, is our meditation teacher, or ajahn, at the forest temple. Somboon, who is 40 years old, brought his two small dogs, Bom, a light brown mixed breed, and Geh, a white miniature poodle. Both clean and riap roy.  This trip would lock my friendship with them.

The forest temple is a fairly modern looking open air temple with one wall, a metal roof, scaffolding and unfinished logs holding up the roof. It’s located in the boonies, a 30-minute bike ride from my house. A simple wooden sign points off the main road, down a winding dirt road to the temple. No one I know has ever heard of it.  How I found out about it is another story.

Today, we are driving a novice monk back to his temple in Lampang, a northern province four-hours away.  He spent a few weeks studying with ajaan Somboon. The forest temple tradition is a solitary one with a lot of walking in the woods and quiet. I went along because I like road trips and this was interesting company, plus, I am told that the head monk at the temple we are going to speaks English. He’s 81 and affectionately referred to as “Pu” or grandfather, so I will refer to him as grandfather. I am thrilled and scared at the same time.  What will I ask him?  How do I prepare for death? How do I know my path? What is the sound of one hand clapping?  I mean this guy is the real thing… He’s reached those higher planes of consciousness, where people can see the future and past lives.  They say grandfather can see your death.  Would you want to know yours?  I don’t know.

It’s noon and I’ve been holding my urine for three hours, meditating through the feeling of fullness.  We stop for lunch and I am relieved to relieve myself.  We eat Northern style Thai food Amporn brought along. The monks eat noodles.

We arrive at the temple in Lampang, Wat Jon Kom. Amporn says, “Suay,” and points to the blue, red, yellow, and green mosaic glass of one of the temples.  It has a huge campus because it is also a school for young monks.

We climb the wooden steps to a building, where two birds practice their Thai in a large cage. “sawat dee kap,” “sawat dee ka,” “jao,” “sawat dee jao,” “mi loo.” Amporn and I stay outside, while the others enter the building. I crackup and laugh out loud. I mimic the mimickry. The birds actually change tone… using a higher register for sawat dee ka and a lower register for sawat dee kap. They are black, with an orange beak and orange eye markings. I have seen them at site. I think they are from the Mina bird family, known for their ability to access language and related to the pesky starlings back home.

Somboon and his novice monks, my two meditation buddies, First, and the man with one eye, are called into the building lobby area where Buddha statues and icons sit behind a glass enclosure. Three bows. We’re sitting again. Everyone is so quiet.  I get the sense we are about hold court with the Dali Llama. I am getting nervous. We are met by the personal assistant of grandfather. Three bows. There are several Thais here, seeking personal consultation for troubles or decisions. Grandfather is busy. We wait for 30 or 40 minutes it seems, while the two senior monks banter back and forth. Then quiet again. I shift from side to side allowing monks to pass. The personal assistant appears nervous, looking behind him into the office where grandfather is consulting with people. A young nun draped in white, with a shaven head, sits in the background talking to someone. Is that my next step? How far will I go for the Dharma?  Is it important for me to know my past lives?  I want to know.  Why are these people my friends?  Did we know each other in a past life? Why have we been brought together? Do I want to know my death? I ‘m told, grandfather can see it. “Sawat dee kap.” I hear the birds and want to laugh but everyone is so quiet. I breathe deep. I’m calm. I wonder if the novice monks are. Amporn whispers to two young pre-teen monks who have just arrived from Khon Kaen. It is their first day here. They look scared. So young and far from home.

I peak through sliding glass doors to see what’s happening behind them in grandfather’s office. I can only see a cluttering of gifts, received and given: pictures, books, bottles of unknown liquid and wrapped monk robes. He’s eating something. The doors open and I smell incense and balm. A wave of heat escapes. I breathe deeply and relax.  Grandfather and I exchange eye contact. He stares for a long second. I am getting nervous. He’s the dude. Really, this is getting exciting.

The novice nun goes inside and appears to be taking notes.  What instruction did he give her? Is she enlightened? My monk associates are waved inside. Then we, the “civilians,” are waved in next. We bow three times. 15 people are inside this room now but it is not hot. We, the civilians, are touching each other. My breath smells of naam prik gabi from the night before. When I look at grandfather I can’t help but grin and giggle. What a crazy scene. I like him. His big eyes. His wet lips stained red from betal nut juice. Does he know what he looks like through these Western eyes? A grandpa wearing red lipstick and orange robes. This make me laugh inside.  Fear dissipates because he looks silly to me in this moment.

His first question to me in English is “What is this?” He is pointing to a bowl with a plastic bag inside, that he seems to be putting the spent nuts into.  I quickly reply, “betal nut.” All I can think about is his lips.  I am not really seeing or hearing.  He is not upset or impatient. He says again, “No, what is this?” “Oh,” I laugh at the word I am about to say, “spittoon,” “It’s a spittoon.” Images from “Gunsmoke” rush through my mind. “It’s a term from the Old West,” I say, “cowboys.”  He nods and smiles. He asks my name, I say “Soo Saan,” drawn out.  “No, he says what is your name in English,” I say again, “Suu saan.” I seem to be confused, didn’t he just ask me my name?  “In English, what is your name?” I say “Susan Alotrico,” at normal pace. “What is your name?” “Susan Alotrico.” He says, “Susan Alotrico” or a form there of, “yes,” I say, “Susan Alotrico.”  Was I speaking Thaiglish?  Where is my English?

We continue this game of play dough words. He asks me a question, as I reshape it into an answer. He asks if I know the Monk, who I saw a few nights ago,  from Wat Phuket where I teach novice monks English, but I do not recognize the name spoken. The monk who founded Wat Phuket, recently acquired a title from the King so he has an incredibly long name that starts with “venerable.”  After some coaching from Amporn I say, yes, I know the monk who started Wat Phuket, where I teach. To reassure him that I know what I’m talking about, I tell him the monk at Wat Phuket gave me a Thai nickname, “Kamala.” He laughed at this, and scrunched his nose, giving the appearance of a naughty little boy, who just poked someone. Kamala is an old name and connotes a country girl, simple but beautiful. But in Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha she is the courtesan, who teaches him sensuality. Luckily, it seems no one has read Siddhartha.

After numerous attempts to explain Peace Corps, “No, it is not part of the U.N.” I tell grandfather, President Kennedy created the Peace Corps. He smiled and said he knew President Kennedy, and proceeds to name all the other influential world leaders at that time. He said I spoke Thai well.  I was humbled and confused because I speak survival Thai.  Then I realized how hard I have been on myself. My perspective is warped because really, one year is a very short time to learn anything. “Mi loo.” Those birds!

He wants to know everything. He knows my parents are divorced and have married other people. “No, I have never been married.” “No, I don’t want to go back home.” I tell him I think I was Thai in another life.  He smiles and tells me it’s possible. He asks my age and I tell him, “54.”  He doesn’t seem to believe me. “Ha sip see, ka.” I say I feel 37.  He countered, “I feel 16.”  His wet red lips part in a laugh that scrunches his nose and I see the little boy again. Everyone laughs.

He mentions finding me a husband. “Mai pen lai,” I say. I have been practicing meditation for 4 years. In 2008, working a 12-step program, I was on step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to have a conscious contact with god. I joined Seattle Insight Meditation Society and a sangha that met weekly for meditation and discussion with a teacher. Grandfather asks if I have any questions. Everything falls away to the truth, “In my meditation, I can’t focus and concentrate.”

Grandfather instructs me by drawing a line from his nose outward as if to follow the breath. He uses many examples, “When you teach teach, when you meditate meditate, when you walk walk.” In other words, with each single action may that be my full focus. “Clean your mind. In, out. Nothing else,” he says. “Make it the most important job?” I ask? “Yes. If not this, nothing else,” he says. He tells me to get up from sitting meditation and do walking meditation for while and come back to sitting. “Try metta,” he says. Loving kindness meditation where you send compassion to yourself and others by repeating simple phrases. A general blessing is: May all beings be free from pain and suffering may they be happy. “There are many systems,” grandfather says. I know everything he has told me already. Why does it feel as if I’m learning it all for the first time? Because I have been without a teacher for a year? Grandfather says, “and find a teacher.” I look at ajahn Somboon. Surprisingly, Grandfather says it doesn’t matter that my teacher does not speak English well. “First Inside. Then Outside,” he says.

“Jao” the bird echoes.

I ask about preparing for death.  The forest temple I practice meditation at has a skeleton hanging from a glass case to remind us to prepare for death. I say in America, we don’t want to look at death.  Grandfather tells me not think in terms of people who are from Germany, Sweden, France, America. We are all human and we will all die. He points to his head and says, “It is about your mind.” In other words… It all happens between the ears. My mind.

I laugh and point to my watch, “But I don’t have much more time,” I laugh nervously, “I am 54.” He laughs and says, “If not this first, nothing else. Clean inside – clean outside.” He points to First, who is quietly sitting next to the wall. “He cannot learn English in one day.”

Venerable Ajahn Pu talking to First

“Next,” grandfather says, “Stop all desire.” “Clinging,” I say. “Yes,” he says. My mind jumps to sexual desire. Why do I find so many monks attractive? Is it Kamala?  Seriously, there are two, no three monks I find incredibly attractive, including my teacher, Somboon. Was I a courtesan in another life? But, Grandfather is not just talking about sexual desire. It is anything the mind attaches to and won’t release.  I want to be free of clinging.

I have taken up so much time but grandfather keeps asking if I have any questions.  “No,” I say and bow three times and thank him. I vow to come back and he gives both Amporn and I a female deity talisman in a small red case. On the way home I feel a new peace and ease. Did I leave something behind, or has something opened up?

Somboon and I feel like old friends, there’s no sexual attraction, there’s ease and acceptance.  I am holding Bom’s head in my hand so it doesn’t dangle off the seat. Geh is curled up on Somboon’s lap. Then, Somboon says, “Susan” as he points to Geh curled on his lap,” “baby.”  We both laugh and I say, “yes, baby.”

When I get home, my neighbor doesn’t want to listen to my story. She only wants to question it. “What do these monks know?  The are fed by us, they do not have to work. They do not have to worry about paying bills, going to work, they have no stress, we take care of them.”  I tell her I understand.  I tell her maybe it’s not about the monks but about the teachings of the Buddha. I tell her I meditate to find connection. I ask if she is happy. No answer. Am I happy? Some moments, yes.  Inside then outside.

———————– Note: When I returned to forest temple, little First had become a monk. I had wanted to hug him, but I guess that is going to have to wait.

Oh, and next time, I am going to sing. Thailand needs diversity of expression!

They know all the words. They watch the same videos. Some of which are very sexy. In America, you would not consider them PG, or appropriate. But in America, there is no dancing and singing on buses. Everyone has their own individual car. Maybe they sing a song to the radio. In America, children are not allowed to dance in the car. In Thailand, it is a community event. It is another example of collectivism. The joy is shared. There is a relaxed attitude about it here. The children sing with innocence and pleasure, not quite grasping the meaning. I think this is wonderful.

The children have so much freedom here, so it seems. They allowed to run around. Sit on tables. On the other hand, their is strict code of behavior everyone follows depending on their status. Children are loved by everyone, strangers even. People take the time to squeeze a little one’s cheek, while they are selling food to the parent. Children know however, when to be silent and not draw attention to themselves, when adults are around. They have great patience and can sit quietly while adults yammer on about stuff. I do not see a lot of pouting going on with my friend’s children.

At a restaurant, my friend Khae’s little 3-year old, Kuun, is sitting and standing on the table. He plays with water and checks out the condiment spices on the table. There is no fussing over eating. As you can see, he does it quite well. Little Kuun then suddenly pees on the table through his little underpants. You won’t see Thai children in diapers, generally. They are allowed to just go if they need to. Khae says usually he tells her but being in the squat position he couldn’t help himself. No big deal. She cleaned up the table with napkins and told the staff at the restaurant. I heard their reaction: laughter. Joy. Again, no big deal.

Monks like to sing too. On a field trip with my temple school, Wat Phuket, some young monks eagerly took to the microphone to sing. They however, did not get up and dance. I did see many with head phones on and I could tell they were jamming because of the air guitar gestures and head gyrations. I chuckled to myself. They are still teenagers, in spite of their saffron robes. Then the video came on. Gyrating hips of scantily clad women filled the screen and no one thought it was unusual, least of all the monks. Is this appropriate I thought. I was more uncomfortable than they were.

Later at some market stops, monks were buying little souvenirs for their girl friends. What, I say to myself, they have girl friends? Emphasis on “friends” I am told. I find my monk friends very kind and patient. I think the dharma is working for them. I respect them and wai deeply – not to say hello, but to say nat massa gaan. A greeting only given to monks. As an ajaan, I have certain privileges, it appears.

For instance, on the night safari trip we had to sit on trams. I was allowed to sit on the same bench as my monk students, while a farang (foreigner) was told to move and that she could not sit next to a monk. Women. Women cannot. Buddhism practiced in Thailand, places males on a higher spiritual plane, karmically and practically. Women cannot touch monks or hand food directly to them.

On the other hand, I have touched monks, their robes and handed them things. There are exceptions for everything. Women in fact, go to temple more often than men because it is deemed that they must make merit because of their lower class. In other words, women have more spiritual work to do because they are women. In the extreme, the best they could hope for is to be reincarnated into a man the next time around. They do this by making alms (give food and goods to monks) going to temple for all Buddha days and rituals and ceremonies. I do not know how much has changed in the beliefs. When I go to temple ceremonies, entire families give merit, wishing for the happiness of those deceased and health and happiness for the living. Making merit by giving money to the monks.

Each village has a temple and each temple holds the spiritual hardware for the people’s spiritual engines. They do this by holding monks to a higher standard and honoring them as spiritual door keepers. Thus, monks attend weddings, funerals, births, house blessings, new building openings.

Khae’s mother prepared the meal, thus making merit. The monks honored her and those that helped in ceremony.

They remind people who they are in a sense. It makes me wonder in the future, will these beliefs change? As Thailand develops and more young people bound for the big cities, what will happen to these small village temples, the monks, the rituals. Elders are the most common visitors to temples. They help because they have time to help. What if no one comes to help, give alms. Will some become extinct? And what about the future of those less fortunate?

Or, will temples change and adapt too? I think the later. I am convinced that these young boys would have no future if it were not for the temples schools who take them in and give them a good education, train them in life skills and health. Many come from poor families in hill tribe villages.

Some have no parents and no one to look after them at all. While some temple schools are less that virtuous, Wat Phuket is a virtuous school, one chosen by HRH princess as a youth development school.

For today, I am grateful to be learning so much about the role my temple school plays and more importantly, to develop the friendships with this unique community of monks.

Satu. May they be free from pain and suffering may they be happy.

I have started a running club of sorts at my hill tribe school. Girls join in as they see me jog around the school field. It started extemporaneously when I went jogging and two other female matayom students joined me.  I told them we should do this each Wednesday and they agreed. Some start out but pooped out with the exception of Sa and Nai. Sa joins me each week Nai, a competitive runner joined us.  Nai is an 8th grader and an Olympic contender. She has competed in Australia. Many of our students have earned running awards.  Sa lives over 100 kilometers away from the school. I was kinda hoping I might see them over he break but that’s not the case.

random cute puppy photo

I had planned to start an aerobics class on Mondays but with one week of school student test-taking, I don’t think it will materialize this year. I thought mostly matayom students would be interested but there is a group of bpratom girls who want to come too.  I think they are in third grade.  They are my little buddies. These are the same girls who I photographed as “flower girls,” because they had collected all these different colored flower petals and were arranging them in piles. I reminisced that I loved to do this too at their age with seed pods and weeds I collected from around my house. After my run, they asked me if I wanted to “jim” or, taste something. I didn’t quite understand what, I but have learned to say “yes,” to about everything, plus I was curious about what they were going to bring me.  They brought a bit of salt in the palm of their hand and encouraged me to jim.  I did and it was salty but I realized the flavor was exciting on the palate because it lasts and kinda changes flavor. I can’t really explain it other than to tell you to try it.  I can see these little girls sitting around jiming the salt and having a good time.  The salt was not all I was about to experience. The other girl brought out an undefined brown thing I couldn’t tell what it was. Well, it was ginger, or in Hmong: kah (falling tone) and in Thai: king (low tone).  I was excited to dip a piece of raw ginger in a little bit of salt, bite off a chunk and feel the warm heat and wonderful floral scent and taste of ginger, take over my tastebuds. A small moment and an extraordinary experience. What a great discovery. I love that they wanted to share this little Hmong treat with me.

Freshy

To have sex appeal or to look sexy, Thais refer to as freshy.  You look freshy today.  This is largely accomplished by the clothes you wear… feminine and breezy dresses above the knee, or blouses in polyester flower, polka dots, stripes, dainty collars with bows or buttons. At one of my schools, teacher dress freshy. At the other school, where teachers appear to be older, they dress more in the suit and skirt style. The other acceptable clothing is traditional style Thai skirt and blouse. When I wore a crocheted vest on tip of my dress, at lunch one teacher playfully commented on my milk nipples.  A crocheted flower design appeared nipple level, thus the association. This prompted me to explain how I Doe(t) (no emphasis on t) loudly just as the janitor walked by. I was sitting in a weird position. They all wanted to know the word in English and I spelled f-a-r-t. They all laughed and one said, now we know Americans fart just like Thais.

Skin lightening

Thai women for the most part want white skin.  Products made by Neutrogena and Nivea line the shelves of stores and have lightening ingredients to lighten the skin. Underarm deodorant, can lighten those shadowy areas under the arms and powder too can lighten while is keeps you cool and dry. I have no idea if over time, it works or works healthily. I just know that Thai women do not feel beautiful unless they have whiter skin. They believe dark skin is ugly and openly distain their skin color.  Every opportunity I have, I reinforce to my Thai women friends that they are beautiful. They are. One recently had a procedure done on her face and I told her to not much effect that she was already beautiful. She told me not to worry. The commercials on TV are widespread with products to lighten brighten and make you more beautiful. Unfortunately, school girls get the message early that their skin color is ugly.  Sound familiar?

You also see this in the arm and face coverings farmers wear.

Mismatch

There is no such thing in Thailand. It is delightful refreshing to see clothes that do not match. Granted, this is casual wear not professional clothes. I see leopard prints with red and white flowers. Anything goes, which has given me great freedom to not to worry about the casual clothes.  These are colorful examples.

A new sangha?  Yes.

Have I found a sangha?

I have been going to meditation at a forest temple, Wat Suan bahsatatahwai. I biked to it once and realized it would be too much to do at night on dark hilly roads. I have a friend pick me up and we go together. As you can see it is open air and while their are fans, you have to accept any biting insects. A skeleton hangs in a cabinet to remind us to prepare for death… this is an amazing journey.

Peacock feathers and incense offerings

Last weekend was a holiday weekend, as Monday was Maka Bucha Day, a day to honor the Buddha’s teachings on the full moon day of the third lunar month (February).  I was missing a meditation retreat at my temple in the village but I could not turn down a vacation with students and teachers from Chumchon Silalang school! Here’s a run down.

Nan with giant pomelo that tastes like grapefruit.

It started with karaoke, dancing and that was on the bus! Two tour buses loaded with students and teachers, heading to three destinations over three days, Petchaburi, Cha’am and Supanburi.  One bus had all the girls and the other bus had the boys and some girls. The hotel, had about 10 to a room, the girls are small but waiting for the bathroom in the morning was crazy. The girls changed clothes underneath their pasins just like Peace Corps showed us. We went to Petchaburi to see the tallest stupa in the world, a Rama IV palace on a hill top (where the King and I was filmed), Cha’am to swim in the sea, and to a fresh water aquarium in Supanburi. It was wonderful that they asked me to join them.

With Nan, Oh, and Aree.

First stop was to the tallest pagoda in the world located in Nakon Pathom province, Phra Nakon Pahtom temple. There were many fascinating side sights.  The golden pagoda loomed in the background. There were caves, Buddha worship relics and from India and China and ceremonial details and altars that just took my breath away.

Then we headed for the Phra Nakhon Khiri royal palace and museum of King Rama IV. This was exciting as we had to take a steep electric tram to get to the top of the mountain, where the palace, royal museum, and gardens were located.

With Chamnan and Supattra

The museum, where you could not take pictures had examples of European art and porcelain ware. Gorgeous wood tables and ornate chairs.  The floor of the museum was marble tile and signs asked visitors to walk gently.  In some sections, the tiles had broken.

A steep path meandered down and across the hillside to an observatory and another temple on another hill. In general, Thai people do not like to walk far. So, we did not make the journey across to the observatory. They however, love to take photographs, the more the merrier. How exotically beautiful this must have all been when it was alive with royal visitors, guards and wild animals.

The “attack” monkeys were quite docile.

Enjoying the view

Think for a moment, when this palace was built with its stone and marble and incredibly heavy teak. The effort of man and beast to haul it up the mountain must have been astonishing and agonizing.

Observatory and more temples in the distance palace grounds.

It’s time for a swim, so we headed to the waters of the Gulf of Thailand and Cha-am.  This would be the first trip to the ocean for many students who are hill tribe students, and have never been outside their community. I give the school director a lot of credit for allowing the trip, which does not happen every year.  We were so lucky to go.  I was lucky to go. It did cost the children 500 baht ($17). They paid for my trip!  The beach town was having a Music and Love Festival on the beach and under the full moon at night, the evening was pure chill and joy. When we arrived, it was windy which made the waves churn up enough for a bit of body surfing. God, the water felt good.  In case you were wondering, traditional Thais wear teeshirts and shorts to swim, not bathing suits. Or, in case of fashionable women, like my co-teachers, sexy shorts and a pretty top.  Only Westerners wear bathing suits. Peace Corps volunteers are expected to play by traditional Thai dress rules at all times.

Student back from a swim.

Len game in sand.

With pretty Nui

Kru Han, showing less provincial Thai attire.

The next day we went to Supanburi and the 100 year-old market called Sam Chuk dlat. This place had everything from touristy stuff, tee shirts, toys, food, amazing local varieties of food, food wrapped in lotus leaf, smoke pork, fish. I ate coconut ice cream from a coconut shell and drank coconut juice from a carved out bamboo stalk.

Lunch with Aree, Oh and Natiyaw.

I bought a mattress, a traditional hand-woven Thai mattress, on hard side.  I love it. I had been looking for one since I dumped my bed for a mat on the floor, in search of better sinus health.

Our last destination, Bueng Chawak Aquarium, located in a beautiful park setting, along a lake. It included a man-made creek, with giant orange carp, a waterfall and grounds that wove several kilometers back to the zoo. My camera had long since died… sorry, no pics.  Along the way, we passed resort bungalows hugging the shores, then a zoo, where you could see the tigers, lions and monkeys, ostrich, and many other animals in their small cages, from our bus seats.  I am glad we did not go there. I hate to see animals in small exhibits.  Many exhibits at the aquarium were very good. Again, it must have been amazing for the students, who had never seen the variety of sea life before. There were gigantic glass-walled tunnels, you could walk through and sharks and giant groupers swam above and around you. I spend about five minutes having a mind meld with one fish who just stared at me, eye-to-eye. Sometimes, you just connect. I always feel joy when I look closely at fish and see the fine detail of their fins, eyes and noses. They seem to have such personalities.

For dinner, we went to Big C, think huge mall with food court, restaurants, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Dairy Queen, movie theatre, clothes, electronics, everything.  It was sensory overload because almost every store had their own blasting music and lights.

On the ride home, girls were given full rein to sing and dance on the bus, in the isle. There had been karaoke before, but as the song says, girls just wanna have fun and that means a dance party. I joined them and it was such fun seeing them having so much fun. There are disco lights too, it is crazy stuff.

The whole tour bus scene is unlike anything in America. These buses are decked out inside and out with colorful decor, and paint jobs with scenes of fairy creatures, kung foo fighters, cartoon characters, dragons, beautiful women, you name it. We had a pink theme going on with swirling flowers on the side of the bus. They are somewhat comfortable to sleep on. Buses stop at gas stations, where there is usually a 7 (7-11). Everyone gets out to use the bathroom. Buses make midnight stops if people boarded the bus in late afternoon, for a bowl of kao tom (rice soup) or quid teow (noodle soup). I use my ear plugs because the music is so loud, my ears crackle. Some of the girls had their hands over their ears. While the teachers I was with did not drink, on the other bus, teachers were drinking.  They are not sitting with the students but it is not hidden either. Thai teachers do not police their students but everyone knows their rules.

It was sad news yesterday about the death of a friend in Seattle who I met through a clean and sober climbing club in Seattle, we both belonged to for years. Dave Forest was a patient and generous man. He apparently died suddenly due to complications from a liver transplant. He was famous for bringing a heavy skillet, eggs, bacon, muffins and fresh fruit to the top of snow-covered Tiger Mt., just because he felt like it and he knew it would make people happy.

I don’t understand.  He was younger than me. It is a reminder to me to hold each person  I know, in my heart with love… because we never know when we will be called. A reminder that each moment, each life, is precious, to not rush by people, and to enjoy the moments. It is not about what someone accomplishes, it is about the light they give to others, and how that expands beyond the mind’s comprehension… into the space of the heart, so vastly under-tapped in this world. God, we need the heart.

A teacher friend’s daughter, a reluctant student.

It has been a busy few weeks and there have been many exciting, precious  and funny moments. I wish I could share some. Just to say it has all been good and I am happy. I am doing most of the teaching at one school. My co-teacher involves me in many more “projects” than the previous teacher and we are close friends. The story time we do on Friday nights is something I hope to pass on to high school students next year.  Sustainability, that’s what we are aiming for here. My other teacher has wonderful ideas for innovation next year.

Cuteness

Two weekends ago, I was away at an ASEAN English Camp at a fellow PCV’s site.  Last weekend, I was in Chiang Mai for a Dr.’s appointment. This weekend I am headed on a vacation trip with one of my schools.  We are going to the ocean/Gulf of Thailand at Chaam and Petchaburi.

In the midst of it all, I have found a meditation sangha.  Though I did not make it tonight.  I plan to go Sunday nights. I am going to have to bicycle there rather than relying on people to take me. I met two women at my temple school who go to meditation sessions at a nearby temple My co-teacher knowing I practice meditation told them and we exchanged phone numbers and last Sunday I went. In many ways it was set up similarly to my Seattle Insight Meditation sangha. We sat on cushions (not enough for my tight legs), a gong was sounded three times at the conclusion of a long meditation. I thought they may chant in Pali so I brought my verses but it was mostly in Thai so I had to sit through many chantings, letting the sounds flow in and out of me.  There was a section of call and response so I could sound that out.  The actual meditation was perfect. I have not sat so long…about 40 minutes in along time. I was actually at my end with being uncomfortable and muttered to myself, “Can we go home now?” Just at that moment, as if in answer, the monk tapped the gong and a tear floated down my cheek.

The monk, who seems to be in his 30’s, lives at the temple with what I could gather, three pre-teen, or early teen novice monks.  He walks nearly 10 kilometers a day for alms, his food, barefoot, and eats only one meal a day. Everyone was curious about me and I found out several of the woman (only one man attended) are high school teachers at Pua School. One, Err, spoke excellent English, and helped me talk to the monk, who said,” Susan samaati geng.” Which means I sat well. We had a brief discussion about soreness and basically it translated as I can control the mind to let it go.  I have practiced this before. It is painful getting through the first few days, for instance at a meditation retreat.  Almost everyone is dealing with the “pain.”  It is a built in meditation tool because you get to focus on the pain.  As you name it, identify its feeling: tight… sharp… burning…dull…you experience the different sensations; as they change. Soon, you dissociate an emotion with it and experience the raw physical sensation as it just is, the pain changes and often disappears. The monk wants me to teach him some English.  I think this would be wonderful but it feels very strange at the same time because he is a spiritual teacher.

The temple is outdoors, which was absolutely beautiful.  It was fairly simple and different from the very ornate temples I usually see. A shimmering green glass Buddha sat high above the alter. I think it is a forest monk refuge but I am not sure. I will have to go during daylight and explore. One side of the temple was open to the elements.  Fans moved the air to ward off mosquitos and heat. Against the wall was a huge bookcase filled with books and meditation night set up materials.  A replica of a human skeleton hung from inside a class cabinet. It was like a science classroom more than any temple I have seen. A cabinet containing medicines was also near.  These students are being taught science and the subjects here, I mused. Later I would find out the skeleton is there to remind us to prepare for our own death. That is amazing. It must be a school for the three young monks. I heard that the monk does not go for all the folks beliefs, most Thais shroud their lives with. He does not even wear the string or offer the string around the wrist in ceremony. Fascinating I thought, I like this guy. The temple has been here for only a year.  The monk once studied at the temple school I teach at on Fridays. The venerable Phramaha Phol, who founded the temple and school is a visionary. He is the leader of all temples in Northern Thailand.  He has a blue print for a amazing transformation of the site. They will build a meditation center for the public, a covered, open-air sitting area, more walking paths and gardens. Expansions of the school are already taking place. I am not surprised that one of his pupils is taking the road less traveled in monk life with this other temple.

That reminds me, while at the temple school on Friday, some of the young monks in the back of the class (yes, watch out for those), beckoned me over. They pointed to a picture laughing and said something in Thai.  I looked and it was a scribbled pen drawing on the wooden desk of a woman with big breasts, below the woman were the faces of two men, each different but both looking up at the breasts, which I thought was cute. Instead of just drawing the breasts, they drew the men looking at the breasts in that big-eyed way they do. My young monk friends also like to show the middle finger by waving it instead of raising their hands.  They do these things with such innocence and good heartedness, I never admonish them.  They are 8th graders!  I don’t care where you are, but young people all over the world still go through the same emotional and physiological development.  Big picture: without the temple school, it would be very hard to say where these young boys would end up.  The temple school is offering a service to these boys who sometimes cannot learn in a rigid classroom environment. Some may not even speak and write their own language well or at all. At my public elementary school, I am starting to see penis drawings here and there. Is Spring in the air?

My sinus infection has been twiddling away at my endurance so I finally went to see an Eye Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist at a private hospital in Chiang Mai this weekend. I walked away with a bag full of drugs and reassurance that continuing to nasal irrigate is a good thing and that changing where I sleep is also a good thing. I have been wondering if my mattress has been causing respiratory issues.  In America, I found mold on my mattress and it was indeed the reason I kept getting reoccurring sinus problems.  I can’t be positive, but I think there is mold on my mattress here.  I see white spots on it.  It is expensive to buy another mattress, so I am sleeping on a mat on the floor, like the aesthetics. My landlord bought the original mattress and it was wrapped in plastic when I got it.

I read Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha on the bus to and from Chiang Mai and it really changed my outlook on people.  I had left Chiang Mai with an icky feeling in my stomach having watched so many farangs these past two days.

There are no rules in Chiang Mai, you can have women, drink beer, get drunk and have the time of your life barely making a dent in your paycheck. I saw many, what you would consider, scantily clad young women. Some wear see through clothes, or tops so low their breasts are in front of you. Form fitting skirts hug just below the bottom. I was walking behind one woman whose lacy thong underwear was so obvious I felt ashamed. Most of these people are not American. They are from Germany, France, Australia or other parts of Asia. Thailand is an exotic location, with exotic food, cheap alcohol, and a welcoming atmosphere that stays up all night and morning. The heat makes is exotic too.  Mornings though is when you see the real Thai people.  They come out for the markets. As the day ends, the Thais go home and the farangs come out.  I see older red face white men with young Thai women and the pit in my stomach rises again. I see other groups: over weight, 50 or 60 something red-faced and pasty farangs getting stacked into song taews, like live pigs getting stacked one on top of the other, headed to their final destination. To the Thai’s we are products. Thais beckon you, hawk you, sell you, dismiss you, take you.  You are a product to be transported, fed, housed and shipped to the next destination.  You are not an individual. The Thais have a gentle, passive kindness. They also have a shrewd business mindset. They would never show their contempt or dismay. In fact, show them a little Thai and a smile, and they will go a long way for you.

I was surprised to find Starbucks does not offer free wifi for their customers and the place was big. Yes, I broke down and had my first freshly brewed Starbucks coffee at Starbucks. Not that friends back home have not provided such delicacies.  They have and I thank them!

My neighbor’s house, two houses down echoes with the cries of a little boy who I hear cry each day and night.  Most children in Thailand are dearly loved, treasured and very happy.  Not so for this unfortunate little soul. He is being shaped by the displeasure people take in him each and everyday. My heart breaks. I can only be kind to him when I see him. I have told my other neighbors about him.  They too shake their heads. You don’t go knocking on someone’s door to take issue with their parenting.  In fact, his mother is away all day and he is being raised by his grandparents, who have never read Spock.

Back to Chiang Mai. I stayed in dirt cheap room – $6.00 (180 Baht). A small tinderbox of a room with road and party noise till 2am (glad I brought my earplugs and sabai mindset).  It was not what I intended.  The place I wanted was full and did not accept reservations. I went directly from the bus station to a Dr.’s appointment which set me up to find lodging in the evening. By then the bus from Bangkok had already arrived and dropped off its cargo of people who scooped up the rooms. So, I landed in a cheap room.  I got to see and hear youth do what they do best, drink beer, get drunk, girl/boy talk until 2:30am, etc. I could here it all through the walls. You don’t come to Chiang Mai to sleep, so I can see why they stay here. There were dorms style rooms and for a bunch of 20 something guys and girls it is a blast. The bathrooms were dirty. The sinks coming unhinged from the walls.  The tile gets grungy after a while so it does not clean spotless. Glad I brought my flip flops. At least they could have put in a squat toilet, guaranteed not to clog. My room was not dirty but I wondered if they really changed the sheets. Considering all of this. I slept well.  The Peace Corps has given me experience at living with less or less than and adapting with no harsh feelings.

Did you know many Europeans still SMOKE?  I looked around the restaurant I was eating at and noticed two of the four tables had smokers. With the exception of one table, people were multi-tasking, keeping up with FB or email, on their chosen electronic device and keeping up with the conversation at the table. How do you do that?

My observation is people come here with longing. Longing for adventure, a cool drink in a hot city, to meet other people who are longing, to have sex, to escape into an exotic land where pretty much anything goes. People are caught up in this exotic environment, where fun and adventure await. And if you are counting dollars, it is cheap. To satisfy this longing people become gluttons, with food, drink, and risk taking. Carefree drinkers party until early morning hours. Farangs on motorcycles or bicycles with no helmets buzz in and out of traffic, with nothing but their confidence. In the mornings, I saw people jogging with their glassy eyes and red faces pushing toxins from the night before out of their bodies.  Thrill seekers can zip line through jungles, ride elephants, pet tigers at the tiger temple, watch muay thai (male and female fighters) or try their skill at shooting at an indoor game venue. When I was reading Siddhartha, I realized what so vibrantly was being played before my eyes was the cycle of samsara.  This is the suffering that comes with endless craving. To search for happiness. Each person caught in their own cycle of cravings, some aware, many not. Why were there so many unhappy people? Thailand is challenging for the traveler too.  It is not convenient or filled with ease. You are on alert. Traffic does not stop for pedestrians so crossing the street has to be timed just right. Sidewalks, if you can call them that, can present a mishap as many share space with vendors with sudden holes, scaffolding or metal bars sticking out at eye level. You get hot, sticky, sweaty and dirty.

What if all of this longing, sickening indulgence and seeking, was beautifully perfect because it is so human? Don’t we each share the suffering of one another? We mirror one another. Inside each of us is the Buddha, calling out with a voice that comes from the heart. We can choose to see and with the heart or the mind. The heart brings connection, the mind separation. I saw with my heart on the bus when I looked over at the man sitting next to me. He was the spitting image of a young friend of mine, 30 years from now. I saw my friend as an aged man worry lines etched in his sweet face. The beautiful woman I sat next to will suffer the loss of her beauty by society, and will become a yaai. I see for this brief moment, we are all one in the same; not separate. When will the waiting be over, to reach an end to suffering and the beginning of unity, peace and ease. When will I be ready to listen to the voice inside me and follow it. Can you hear yours?

So where does that leave her? A girl dressed in her dirty blue skirt and white blouse. School clothes. A beggar on the streets. A pariah no one sees because if they dared to see they may face the gravest question of their existence. How and why do we exist and what are we, truly. I saw her. I kept walking. I have these questions. I looked back, not sure if what I saw was real or an apparition. How horrible I thought. Then her story appeared.

She was not really there, she was hidden behind the dark mass that was her face.  A sickening form of life. I know what it is to hate oneself. An unsuspecting fawn tapped on the shoulder by fate and chosen. You will be the one. You shall wear the face of darkness. You shall bear it and give witness to it. But why? To what end? What is the lesson for her, for me? She obviously was not killed at birth. When was she turned out on the streets?  When did she know she was different? Under the cover of night, does she shrink into the shadows of the dark alleys of Bangkok?

Was this a genetic mutation or something that happened slowly over time, a poison that leached through the skin, to dissolve bone and leave her with an elongated pachyderm trunk? Was she loved, hugged, and touched as a child? Did she take care to bathe and wash herself? Did her own screams wake her up at night?

Her mouth was small. Her eyes receded in the distance. Resigned. They showed she had given in, accepted it, but was still witness to her own torture every time eyes met hers and then hurriedly looked away.  I realize the torture is bearing witness to her as well. The weight of her face pulled her features downward in a pitiful way.  I should have stopped and given her money.  We were rushing to catch a van. Take a moment to give a moment. I was horrified. Never have I seen something so inexplicably unexplainable.

I wanted inside her, to know, was it heavy? Did it weigh her down? Did the dark mass saunter back and forth in the wind? Could she tuck it away in her shirt? Her face hung below her shoulders, past breast level, then tapered off and narrowed in a soft u-shape.

What is her buddha nature? What does her inner voice say? How does she escape who she is? How do I escape who she is?  What if I exaggerate her hideousness by shunning her. By not looking, not seeing.

What would it be instead to look, to gaze in her eyes, to sit and be present to everything she is, to hear her voice, her longing. Would seeing her help not to see? If we are all connected in samsara, in life and death, the she is connected to me too.

She does not feel the pain of what she cannot be. She only knows the present looking out, like a dog who is accustomed to starvation and scrounging for food. She does not see herself.  In her sleep, she is at peace. In her dreams, she is free of her body. The wind does feel good against her skin. For this, she is grateful.

She is sacred. I am sacred. Can I give myself the same forgiveness, self acceptance, and love that I give her?

My garden of bok choy, dtua fuk yao, tomatoes, pak boon, pak kaad, cilantro… if you an see through the grass:) And that is a mango tree on the left – it smells so sweet.

Section of ancient wall in Chiang Mai

Decor at restaurant

Clever gecko

I have noticed more food products with a “GMO” (genetically modified food) label. This bag of Royal Family Project pumpkin chips does not say GMO.  I have seen organic product with GMO.  The royal family is involved in many projects in rural Thailand to support of farming in general, farming organic products and locally made products that build pride and put people to work. Each tambon or sub district is encouraged to produce a product, One Tambon One Product or OTOP.  OTOP stores have a variety of locally made crafts, foods, textiles and clothes that are unique to each region. Getting back to food. I choose not to eat GMO food in the U.S. Here it is difficult to avoid if I buy packaged foods.  If I buy vegetables and fruit in the market, I can be sure I am getting a dose of pesticides. That’s why I started a garden.

my backyard garden

one of several student-planted gardens at school

I recently read that Thailand has one of the highest rates of pesticide use in SE Asia. From what I have seen, it is applied by hand, the container of pesticide worn on the back of the farmer. I see farmers on their motorcycles with wand sticking out and pesticide sloshing around on the person’s back. No one wears a mask or any other protective gear.  Human health effects and implications for environmental damage to local water supplies are just waiting to appear.  Health effects go under reported. The pesticides have killed the good insects that eat the bad insects.  However, killing the good insects gave rise to a bad insect, the brown plant hopper, in the rice crop that now has no predator and is resistance to pesticides… So the farmer uses more or buys a different pesticide, which is more expensive.

I am lucky I have many edible plants around my house. Here are a few.

mango tree in bloom

papaya tree

one of the dozens of varieties of bananas

Chaom, an edible plant that folds on a touch and smells a bit like a sewer

lime tree

lime flower; very pungent

makam, a  type of eggplant

oops, and my wash. It had to sit in damp weather for a day as the sun never came out the day I did the wash.

Love affair wit the motorci. The main mode of transportation in Thailand is the motorci.  Children learn to ride them as babies.  I have seen them strapped in their little harness. Then when they can touch the floor board, they hang on to the handle bars and stand up, cradled between the legs of the driver. I have seen young girls and boys, maybe sixth grade, driving.  Passengers ride easily, one stacked behind the other… maybe four on a bike. As children they learn to balance, so, when they are older, women for instance, sit side saddle very elegantly. Majority of people do not wear helmets. I think that is more of an economic issue.The ants go marching.  Red ants, brown ants, black ants and the ants in your pants. We live with ants. Period. Ants live with us. Some seem intelligent.  The medium length red ants like these, look at you with their round black eyes, and rise up on their legs when you put your finger out, to smell you. I have stepped on ant hills or mounds, really not even a mound… let’s call them ant cracks, in the sidewalk, or, in the earth. The small black ants here are bad news. They not only sting like the dickens, they cling to you like glue so you have to wipe or smear them off, killing them.  Maybe these are fire ants. The ants in my house are not really bothersome. When they bite it is more an annoyance. I find ants on me all the time. In my house, they are constantly on the move … in a line. It is very common for them to make a path exactly where I stand to do the dishes or cook food.  I have to sweep them away with a broom or my feet.

Wednesday, I saw a cute fashion. Two teenage girls were headed to the outdoor Wednesday market, which is in a field.  They had just gotten off their motorci. They had on fuzzy slippers with little furry animals on the toes. I have been coveting these slippers when I see them at the market and just thought, that is too much, I like it. It is so uncomfortable to wear shoes, barefoot, especially during the hot season. A former co-teacher would wear these fuzzy slippers in the library and they were so cute. I am going to have to get a pair and just keep them there. Everyone takes their shoes off before entering homes. I wear slippers in my house because my floors are constantly dirty. Children take off their shoes before entering the classroom at school.  Teachers keep them on. Everyone takes their shoes off in the large office at one of my schools. In the other school, we leave our shoes on.

The boy of the far left always does thumb wrestling with me whenever we see each other.  It is how we start the day. I think he is somewhat autistic.  He spends a great deal of time screaming. Yet, he is highly intelligent and often talks at special events. Children wear uniforms to school. Girls wear a blue skirt and white blouse with a blue tie bow. Boys wear a white shirt, black shorts, black belt, white socks and brown tennis shoes at one school, and white shirt, brown belt and khaki shorts, and brown shoes at the another school. When it is scout day, students, teachers and the principal wear their scout uniform.

When I first saw the male teachers in their knee socks, shorts, boy scout shirt, badges and scarf, I thought to myself, that looks a little silly. Now I think, maybe a little sexy, but not silly. The uniforms are worn with great respect for the tradition. Teachers wear their khaki teacher uniforms with badges on Mondays. This shows they have earned certification. Teachers at my school and throughout Thailand for the most part dress really formally to school.  Some wear suits in Thai tradition made of silk or woven cotton. They are beautiful. Others wear skirts, dresses and blouses that are very feminine.

Thai culture is a feminine culture in so many ways. One is seen in the way men and women perform traditional song and dance. Their hand movements are very graceful and slow. In my schools, several boys express themselves as feminine by wearing lipstick for special activities.  Later, when they are in high school or older they may choose to more openly dress as women and wai very femininely. The derogatory slang term is “katoey,” they refer to themselves as “lady boys.” Many older people do not approve and I have heard them point out “katoeys” with distain on their face. Pammy, in the photo, was a participant in the Miss Tiffany contest in Pua, a beauty patent of extremely beautiful women, well, um, men.

Pammy during Songkran

I On Saturday, I went to Muang Nan today to get my bike fixed.  It is the large capital city of Nan province. My bike needed a tune up as only one gear worked and the rear gear cable was broken. I asked a neighboring PCV, Nora, to go with me as we both wanted to go to the large TESCO Lotus shopping center there and pick up stuff that is really bulky or impossible to pack on a bike. For my fellow PCV that meant: cat food and litter, cans of milk and yogurt. For me: sunflower oil, sesame oil, mushroom sauce, shampoo, toothpaste, bleach, soy milk, yogurt. I mentioned this to one of my teachers and sure enough someone was going who had a pick up truck and could take us both.  Kuhn Toy would take us with her “fen” boyfriend and son.  The trip was fun and sad.  It was fun because I got to hang out with Nora, my neighboring PCV.  It was sad because Toy was going to go to the hospital where her uncle is recovering from a tragic accident. He was chopping down a tree on his farm and it fell on him. If I understood correctly, he is paralyzed. He is conscious but cannot talk, he can write but not move elsewhere. I could not help thinking about being hurt in rural Thailand. How long it would take for the EMS vehicle to arrive, being moved from the field to the truck, and from the truck to the hospital, from the hospital to a room. I hope recovers. While Toy, her boyfriend and son were at the hospital Nora and I went to the market.  We did not get far.  We met another American woman who teaches English at the large government high school in town.  She was so nice we ended up talking to her on the sidewalk for about 50 minutes. We shared our astonishment at some of the Thai education system features and the differences between Thai and American teachers. She has made a year long commitment through an education placement agency. She said she asked to go to North Thailand, having been here before and was lucky to be in Nan. We exchanged emails and then parted ways. Nora and I had lunch and went back to the bike shop having told my Thai friend we would be back by 2:00pm.

The staff at the bicycle shop were a talented and good looking bunch of young men. One of them went to work right away after seeing the split cable at the hub.  It was done in about 20 minutes but Nora and I wanted to walked around in the market, eat lunch and see stuff.  They completely replaced the gear cables and adjusted everything.  It is like a new bike.   They also put on a new back rack, a used one I spotted in the store for 250 baht, after I saw new ones marked at 700- 900 baht. They also shored up my front basket with a bracing bar. I told them the bike’s name is little bear “Mii lek” and they all laughed. Nora had to look up bear in her dictionary.  It is always fun to talk to Thai people.  I think they really appreciate and get a kick our of hearing “farang” or foreigners, speak Thai. We had a chance to tell them why we are here and where we are living.  Muang Nan is about 50 K away from where I live. I walked away paying 500 baht total; about $17.

Little Bear, or Mii Lek

When my friend picked us up from the hospital, we went to Tesco Lotus, a large store that sells food, electronics, clothes, household goods, and more.  There is a small Dairy Queen and KFC inside. It is quite the store. Think COSTCO but not everything sold in bulk. While we were shopping in the store Toy’s boyfriend had strapped my bike upright so we could fit everything in the bed of the truck.  We did have quite a bit of stuff and he bought a plastic file cabinet. She teachs annubaan (kindergarten) at my school and he is a solider. He spent several years in the south of Thailand where terrorism is a daily reality and many people including soldiers, teachers, men, women and children are killed daily. I told him I was glad he got out. He practiced his English with me and talked about how he wanted to learn more.  So many Thai’s want to learn to speak better English, but most only have books to read. Having a foreigner who can actually talk to you is special.  Unfortunately, PCV’s are not here to teach individual people English but I encouraged him and told him I am happy to practice with him anytime.

The news about Toy’s uncle was not good.  He was going into an operation when they were there so she did not see him. We were going back to the hospital to see him, post surgery. When we arrived at the hospital, the largest public hospital in Nan, Nora and I noticed large pictures of open wounds along the walls. She couldn’t look.  I did and still do not know why they have to show the human body in such various parts of damage. It certainly reduces the human body to what it is skin, meat, muscle and bones. I met two other teachers from my other school at the hospital. They are cousins of my friend. So, it was their father who lay in the hospital ICU room. I waied and told them how sorry I was, and wished them chockdee (good luck) and my wishes for his wellness.  I met Toy’s mother and the wife of the injured man. In fact, there were 30 family members who were there, or had been there. How suddenly a life can change or be taken away. The waiting room is corridor with decorative brick open to the air.  Families of different patients had laid our their mats and were sitting on them in their family groups. Many had brought food and it was laid out along the chairs. There were about four different groupings of families sitting on mats.  Their were chairs built into the wall but not enough for everyone. Food was on many of them. It is a sad and tumultuous time for this family.  They must have been there all day.  While I saw no tears, it was clearly emotionally difficult. I think Thai people learn to be strong for one another and not show emotions openly. I have learned not to make generalizations either. Thai family units are strong and they step up for each other. I think much like we would do in America. But in America, cousins are not always close in miles or mind. The ride home was not sad or morose.  I think the Thai people have a way of facing the present that we do not embrace.

Friday night, story time, this time a Thai version of The Little Red Hen, called A Hen and the Wheat. Students drew the action in the story. What happened first, what happened after that, etc.  Pretty cool stuff. Our hope is story time will inspire students to read books in their own language, in addition to become more familiar with English words.  After each story we have an extension art activity that calls on their recollection of the story, the characters, what happened, or what the story is teaching us. After The Hen story we asked students what they think the story is teaching us. Their answer was not to be selfish.

This is definitely a sustainable activity.  Maybe next year, we can get some matayom students interested in reading the English and another to read the Thai. Or, a Thai teacher who speaks English can do both parts.

Hawk Moth I saw at school.

It is starting to get hot again and I am remembering my first visit to my town last year. It was cold in the morning and really hot during the day. During the hot season I take three showers a day.  One in the morning, one after school, and one when I come home from exercise. Now, I am take one shower a day in the evenings when the water is warmer. I do have a water heater but it does not last five minutes.

Since my last blog I have discovered a second walking street in my town. In Northern Thai language it is called, “Gong Pua Muang.” The other street is called “Tanon Kon Duen.” They mean the same thing but one is in Northern Thai. They are both walking streets and very cool.

Thai people are very proud of their heritage. Most people here speak three languages, Thai, Northern Thai, Tailue or Hmong. Many also speak a bit of English, so they speak 4 languages! Gong Pua Muang is only on Sunday evenings starting around 5pm.  It is really fun and has many interesting things to see and eat. I see my friends there and we ask each other what we are buying. They usually laugh at what I am buying.

Gaii and kao laam

Spirulina

Last week I bought this huge bag or green pillow of spirolina – algae from the Pua River high in the mountains. My friends laughed and asked what I was going to do with it.  I told them I ate it yesterday and was going to ask my puan baan to make “gaiee” for me. She did and it was delicious. She also made blue sticky rice called khao nieow ma muang made from a blue flower called the butterfly pea flower. I also ate makam or tamarind.

Makam is ripe now and delicious.  It is a bean pod that has to be cracked open and pealed away from the sticky sweet dark fruit. Its hard jewel like seeds are easily separated in your mouth. The fruit seems to be eaten at all stages of development, unripe and ripe. Thais eat this fruit dried, in tea form, pickled and fresh. I just learned it is high in sugar also vitamins, so those with diabetes shouldn’t eat.

Selling curry dishes

Oils, seeds, beans

Thai people come from all over Thailand to visit Pua. I met some people at Gong Pua Muang Nan, from Southern Thailand who were here for the first time.

Fish and flowers

I have been eating many interesting foods. Tobacco is also growing in the fields across from my house. It seems to have grown from knee high to shoulder high overnight. Farmers are already taking the leaves in huge woven baskets which they carry on each end of a bamboo pole.

I popped in on an art class at one of my schools and the kids were carving radishes and carrots in flowers.  One boy I discovered, was carving his carrot into a penis under the table. I innocently stumbled upon it. The boys giggled when they saw me see “it.” It was well carved and boy-sized. The teacher would never see it because they do not commonly walk around and check work. Penis’s or phallis are found in open-air markets in Thailand as they are sold as talisman of sorts. An artist carves them as handles of his water ladles.

Phallic ladles

I have spent Friday and Saturday at an English camp to prep students for the Ordinary National English Test called ONET.  There is a huge push for students to do well on this test.  However, it is poorly written and uses strange British English language formations we PCV’s have a heyday with. But Thais take it seriously and so we had two days of training for students.  They did a pre and post test and found 50 Matayom students improved 80 percent and 150 Bpratom students improved 30 percent. The Matayom (high school) students studied together and had more time to cover subjects- the Bpratom kids (elementary) kids had basically had one hour of study over two days. I am not going to comment on this.  There is so much complexity involved and so many things “we” would say that “they” should do.

Students made hats after listening to “Amy and the Blue Strawberries.”

Flower girls and a boy

A peeve has developed over a recent decision to cut down all the deciduous trees along the main road in Pua.  Someone decided it was the way to rid the town of Swallows that roost in the buildings and trees nearby.  Every night thousands fill the sky like some Alfred Hitchcock scene from “Birds.” Kee Nok (bird shit), they say, Oh, I say.  So they think the birds will go away.  God knows how many decades the birds have been coming here and have imprinted genetic code that tells them to migrate here. So now, people are standing with pans or other things to hit and make noise hoping the birds will go away. It will be interesting to see who wins.

Bunny Ride: Children’s Art from Woranakorn Student

Children’s Day and Teacher’s Day has come and gone.  I wish I could say the same for my sinus infection. It is nice to recognize children for their wonderful beings.  I wish we could do the same in America. Also, teacher’s have a day of celebration, though it is not an official holiday, they do not go to work but instead attend a morning and afternoon receiving accolades, awards and lunch. And, they dress to the nines.

Susan with her beautiful co-teacher, Sasiwimon

There was also karaoke and performances by some daring teachers. The directors from one school did their own Gangnam Style.

School Directors do their own Gangnam Style

I received a great comment today from the M1 class at my temple school, Wat Phuket.  The class is full of boys, obviously, and most are very chatty.  They are kind and friendly boys but they get distracted quickly.  I have been wondering what to do about classroom issues. Today, several of the boys told me they really enjoy the class.  They asked co-teacher how to say ‘enjoy.’ It was great news because I had been wondering if they were enjoying it. The key is to keep them all involved.

We are doing a World Map project starting with lessons before painting the mural. We are labeling a wall map for continents and oceans.  It lends itself to active participation.  It is hard though because some boys don’t speak Thai well let alone English. Copying each other’s papers is widely condoned in Thailand and because these boys are monks, I do not see them getting reprimanded, though they do it because they lack confidence.  They receive points for their good behavior.  If they show unacceptable behavior, they loose points.  My co-teacher told them today before we started teaching, that if they talked while I was talking, she would take a picture of them.  Kind of ‘big brother’ but didn’t say anything.

A saw a blue print of the vision, the founder of the temple has for this property.  It is so exciting because it is a grand vision.  It includes building a large meditation center with lots plants and flowers, in beautiful open sitting areas and just a lovely meditative atmosphere. The view from the property is something to see.  First, fields of rice, tobacco, or whatever the seasonal crop is.  Then, rising from the farm fields are the beautiful mountains.  For the students, there is a science lab being built. I feel so lucky to have this opportunity to work in the temple setting. I want to write exclusively about this sometime. I had and have so many preconceived notions about what I think monks are, and what goes on here, but am always surprised by new events.  The monks will participate in sport day. The first question I asked was what do they wear, because on temple grounds they wear their orange robes. They change into something like a jumper, I guess.  I hope I get to see this but I have a conflicting event on the same day. Like other schools, the temple school also participates in academic competitions.  I tutored some students today for the speech competition.  While their English is very good, I wasn’t sure if they knew what they were talking about.  I googled places to show them the images for their words.  Not sure if it made a difference.

M4 students

Many stereotypes I have had include monks are quiet, obedient, don’t have fun, dance or listen to music. How wrong I was.  I have never seen a more free and expressive bunch.  I am listening to pop Thai music now that a senior monk is listening too.  I like it too, it’s good…. kinda like a Thai Beyonce, really, seriously. I love this place.  I thought they took a precept of not listening to music.  I am so glad this is not true because I believe music is an expression of joy and joy is also part of the heart. The heart path is the Buddha’s teachings.

I have to catch you up on all the news. Well, there really isn’t any news to report just daily life.  Actually, daily life is fascinating to me and I am often filled with much joy.  I am blessed with a good life and good friends in Thailand. I am lucky to be here and reflect on how filled with fear I was over a year ago about even joining the Peace Corps.  I remember being asked if I would be willing to accept an assignment in Thailand and how thrilled I was.  The truth is I am still thrilled with Thailand. There is so much going on I can’t participate in everything I want to.

Tonight, I start a storytelling program at my school with my co-teacher.  We will read a children’s book in Thai and English every Friday night in the school library. We conclude with an art project, like making a bookmark, that will help them recall the story.

Update, we did the story telling program and for those of you who know me well, know this is my forte.  It was a huge success.  We read a book called “Alfred,” about an elephant whose trunk is too long and he is ashamed of it.  The story has an empowering ending. In reader’s theatre style, I acted out parts and used my voice to dramatic effect. Practically, every student was there… about 100 students stuffed into the library sitting on the floor and listened with rapt attention. At the end, I asked my teacher to ask students what their favorite part was… so many voices shouted out at once, I was surprised.  We asked again, what else did you like?  More voices were heard. In reflection, I don’t think they have every heard a story read out loud.  They LOVED it. This is a passion of mine and I am delighted to pass it on to my co-teacher and the students. We made bookmarks of their favorite scene afterwards.  I will take pictures of some and post here.  I am going to hang them mobile style in the library. Each week we will do a different extension activity.

Lueng, a friend’s gallery

Like a mosaic, my life holds so may different facets.  I have a hopeful garden now thanks to several students who came over and gave it a total makeover.  Before, some of my vegetables seemed to have stopped growing, remaining short.  The students added tree mulch and added new seed. It looks pretty good. They are growing their own garden on the school property and it is amazing how fast it has grown.

Lueng, the artist

Saturday, I spent the day at a village I had not been to before, for a day of fun and games with the old folks (if you consider 55 and up, old). It was a riot and I never had so much fun.  My kinship was fast and enduring with these generous and playful Thai people.

Susan and the girls

First of all, the Gamnan (think Gangnam style), Tambon leader (think Mayor) was drawing an elephant on a large white board and I could not figure out why he was doing it and why he did not draw the tail. When he saw my confusion he drew a tail from what would be the butt of the elephant and made a funny “thhhh” noise.  I concluded he meant fart and I said the word for fart in Thai, ‘doht’.  No one said anything. I concluded that he was just having fun, something to do to entertain.  The village road is blocked off and several large blue canopies are strategically placed over a game area and a dance area. Patam is being played in a nearby. I never saw the game but my puan baan told me he won first prize.  This does not surprise me as the men and sometimes women in my village play patam each day around 4pm until 5:30.  I have played a couple of times. Holding the steel balls which roll in the dirt gravel made my excema breakout and skin crack and bleed, so I had to stop. It is really fun to watch and see people knock other people’s balls out of the way. It is good exercise ad great fun. Every neighborhood in American should have one. My neighbors wanted one so they just built it. I bet the village leader had to approve it.

People are standing around as the first game, “hit the can,” is about to begin.  Anyone can play, so people line up for the chance. Once blind folded, a bamboo cane is handed to the player which they have to hold upright until they are ready to strike “the can.” Some people check the course out a head of time, counting steps to the can, etc. The ground where most people hit is marked with charcoal with their number.  One person nails it, my puan baa Prasit (neighbor). I don’t some close to the can, but the Thai people love that I am playing.  The crowd took several steps back as one man made a beeline for the crowd, way off the mark for the can. He finally notices he was in gravel and someone nudges him the other way.

Then out comes the white board in the middle of the road.  There’s the elephant. Oh, I get it… draw the tail on the elephant. A charcoal line was drawn on the road. People line up for their turn.  First, they studied the white board. We would probably call this cheating in America.  In Thailand, fair game. These were serious game players, who planned to win. They counted steps to the board, measured the distance from the end of the board to the elephant’s butt, with arms and fingers outstretched they counted as they inched there way to the elephant’s butt, where they would draw the tail.  I was going to play but I felt uncomfortable about doing the pre-measuring. The first player donned with a blind folded approached the board did the precise measuring blindfolded and nailed the beast. I approached the board and having previously noticed a nail on top of the board directly above the beast’s butt, had planned to move down arm’s length from there. The crowd is wild, singing some song I don’t know the word’s to, other than Chang, Chang, Chang (elephant). I do my measuring, revising many times, the crowd is laughing and then I draw my tail confidently, but easily missing the mark. Several people wandered off and it were not for the help of the crowd would still be looking for the board.

Susan’s hit not even close

Now it is time for lunch… sticky rice (a purple and white mix), a dried seaweed from the river, which I later learned was spirulina. A bamboo soup, a something dish, and “oooah,” beef, fat that is.  It was a dish covered with fresh garlic, underneath, pure cooked beef fat with skin intact.  I had to try it, it was the polite thing to do. The consistency was like chunky jello, which was kinda fun, the flavor mild. Honestly though, when I eat fat, it is by he way of eating chips. My favorite taste sensation was this green airy naam prik, algae, called gai-ee. It was like eating spun (think cotton candy) dried, stringy seaweed.  Roasted garlic was mixed with it.  It was absolutely delicious with sticky rice. For a sweet, a cross between an apple and pear was served.

Duen (Manager of Animai) and Sonoon (public health nurse)

Now it is time for dancing rum wong, or dance in a circle.  For the Thai women, this dance comes easily and naturally, having practiced for decades.  It’s music is mostly slow.  The dance movements include graceful hand movements and simple steps. Today, women seemed to have thrown the circle away and just danced in one large mash. We bumped hips, moved fast and waved our hands for two hours straight. Drumming, tambourine, finger and hand cymbals made the music.

Supporit, the Gamnan, leads the song

The Gamnan and local leaders sang old northern songs that lasted two minutes os so and then the music would change again. The drummer, the leader, would blow the whistle to signify the song’s end. Traditionally, each dance is bought.  You have to pay to play so to speak. All the dances were pay for and cheap as 10 baht upward. Luckily the blue canopy kept the heat of the day mostly at bay.

Duen, woot woot

Today, it was teaching at the Animai, health center. 12 children learned about shapes. The most successful moment was when each group had a bunch or realia of different shaped objects. I asked them to find the… They were to answer with the name of the shape and say the sentence this is a … shape. I think they were fascinated to have real things to touch of different shapes.  Next week I will continue with colors and shapes.

Conference room I teach at on Sundays

The Animai is really responsible of the health of all villagers.  Today, there was blood tests done of people who wanted to check for high blood sugar levels. I understand Scabies (mites) is really high here, where people contract them from plants.  I thought I had them once.  I feel sorry the people who have them.  The itching and crawling sensation must be unbearable. It was for me and I don’t think really had them.

Animai staff doing blood tests

At the walking street last night I met the most interesting people. I met a woman who is a nurse at the Silapet Health Center but she is much more than that.  She has an organic farm, and trains students who want to be farmers. She is a vocational teacher in farming and growing organic vegetables.  She has a large training center and a beautiful house.  I saw pictures of her being interview by journalists, so I think her work is well known. She has no interest in selling her vegetables through. She said she does it for her family and for the the farming training center.  The best part is she welcomed me to visit anytime. I just can’t get over how much the Thai people enjoy their life. Maybe that is my big take away. Never is life too serious to be enjoyed, even at funerals.

Silapet Waterfall, a 20 minute bike ride away!

Disney Fun

Doggin’ around

A girl and her horse where I run.

Gallery

Fabric dries near restaurant

rum wong (dance in circle)

For New Years Eve, I went to festivities at Wat Phuket.

Monks and others were letting off lanterns and I jumped and screamed when one lit a fireworks rocket behind me. There were performances of singing and dancing, and a Karaoke contest. The street to the temple was lined with bamboo pole lights which were very enchanting and inviting.

I didn’t think I could stay awake till midnight but I went inside the temple, where earlier I hung a 100 baht offering that joined the hundreds of other offerings to the temple that criss-crossed the interior.

Buddhist practitioners packed the temple at about 11pm. There was about 30-40 minutes of chanting and meditation before the clock struck 12.  I was so sore and had to shift several times. Did I mentioned it was very cold that night? I wore two scarfs and people had on hats, mittens and coats.

Afterwards, hot kao tom, or rice soup, was served and then people either went home or stayed up to light more lanterns and set off firecrackers. A traditional Thai dance called a rum was going strong across the way. I went home and lit my own lantern (I forgot to bring it to the temple). It sailed into the sky as I said a few blessings for you, the world and me… Did you here them?

Can you find the turtle?

I attended a Buddhist ceremony called a tam boon Thursday morning at Chomchon Silalang school. Tam boon is basically a tradition of giving in Thailand. It can involve monks or not.  My other school is holding a tam boon by selling lottery tickets for school improvements to help student learning. The tam boon at Silalang offered food and other goods to 17 plus monks. I knew many of them as my students from the Temple I teach at on Fridays. The community was invited to participate as it was a way to also celebrate and give blessings for the new year. The monks chanted and then walked around the student-lined sports court.  Each student offered something to the monks. As receptacles were filled, contents were carefully dumped into huge bags, that student helpers were carrying. Then people moved indoors to the auditorium where nine seniors monks led further chanting with students and kru participating.  A thick white string was passed to the monks who held it in their palms as they chanted. On New Year’s eve, a similar ceremony was held inside Wat Phuket and Buddhist practitioners and I held the string. Today, one monk chanted for about 45 minutes straight while the other monks echoed him with another layer of chanting.  The lead monk appeared to loose his place at times, but I can’t be sure. I will have to ask one of my teachers.  He sprayed holy water on all of us and gave me a good dose as he walked through the auditorium. I was proud of the students who chanted during some of the prayers.  They have done a good job of learning Pali and showing respect by not messing around too much. They sat without being too restless for about 30 minutes. That was the limit, later, they got squirmy and several teachers had to sh…. them.

The New Year approaches and I find a deeper level of letting go and being with what is and not forcing what does not fit, or my ideas.  I resonate with the cultural priorities that exist here.  It is quite simple really. Nothing is more important than the people you are with.  Not work or death.  Family is more important than work and friends. Taking it easy is more important that being busy. Thank you Thailand and its people… such a gentle and passive culture that suits this Western results-oriented mind set quite well.  My values are not really different from that of the Thais.  I get a new chance to practice them each day.

full moon over rum won; traditional style singing and dance

I sit at one of my schools, luckily able to receive an internet connection. I am taking a new account of my life here and literally unable to do much as I pulled a muscle in my back and have been self administering Ibuprofen regularly. I have to ride my bike though and I am riding very slowly. The water jug I use to water my garden each day is huge and I have been holding it out in front of me with one arm… and it has finally caught up with me. A teacher friend said I was old.  We laughed and I made a point of saying feeling young is a state of mind. It is a good time to take it easy, I do not have to go back to school until the 2nd.  Each day I have another lesson in “it is not about me.” This is about a Christmas activity at my larger elementary school.  I did not participate in the planning or the actual event. I was a guest. Which is how I feel at that school.  I feel like I am part of a family at the other school. My teacher at my “guest” school is a first year teacher there.  I think she has to prove herself to the teachers and administrators. She wants to make a good impression and show her strengths and skills.  I think that is why she did not include me.  I was sad until I realized it is about her not me!

At an artsy, retro cool-store in Pua.

I feel a new freedom moving into 2013… or as it will be in Thailand, 2556. May the force be with you too and all that you do.  Keep sparking your spirit… life is here today and so quickly gone. I am going to relish the new year’s moments, hours and days.

Penny

The Thai people in my town have become my best friends. They take such good care of me.  The son of Tin, Tonnan, age 5, has become a real special person in my life and I apparently in his. When we see each other at the park, I do a little Gangnam Style and he grins and runs. Tin, also a good friend, told me about her day at work.  She is a nurse at the Tessabaan, City Hall. Her boss, the mayor of Pua, had a heart attack in his office.  She was called and found no pulse when she got there.  She led CPR efforts and his pulse came back while she and a colleague were in the emergency vehicle headed to the hospital. I told her she saved his life.  She was clearly having some emotions about it, post event and I gave her a big hug and could feel her release a little bit.  I told her I was so proud of her.  She proceeded to tell me that he smokes heavily at work and that many of the leaders smoke and drink.  This I have also heard from PCV’s who work in their town’s Tessabaan. I told her some people change their habits after such a “wake up” call. She said they already have all the information about why it is not healthy to smoke. I told her she could bring in a s smoker’s lung and a healthy lung in a jar. She seemed to think it was hopeless.

Tin, Tan, Tonnan

I tell ya, Thais’ have a huge stomach for the gruesome. I noticed a new poster in town.  I thought at first it was an advertisement for a movie that was going to be shown. It could happen. Even though there is no movie theatre in town. But, a horror movie. It looks like a movie poster I reasoned.  I am so naive. The Thais love horror movies and when I watch TV there is always some B-rated horror movie on. Their dramas also have ghosts and people with special powers who are evil and good.  What gave it away? The piece of glass through a woman’s bloody head. This is a new safety campaign to encourage people to wear a helmet while riding their motorcycles.  The message was clear and it WILL get people’s attention.  The poster is outside the Pua Police Station.

Use your head, wear a helmet!

Two weeks ago an aerobic’s friend was in a motorcycle accident.  I do not know if she was wearing a helmet. She has a full length cast on her right leg. This week, I attended a funeral of a teacher friend whose father had died.  His body arrived in an ornate gold coffin on a dragon in the back of a pick up truck. The procession of family walked to the memorial. Monks led each holding onto the rope that was connected to the truck which slowly made its way up the road. I could hear beautiful music of flute, gong and a clarinet type instrument I usually associate with Turkish music. The two identical twin sons (one of which was my friend) were standing on top of dragon holding the coffin. The men lifted the coffin onto the funeral pyre. Wood was stacked underneath. It was to be an outside burning, when, I do not know.  I presume the next day. While the grand daughter was speaking, she broke down but continued to talk, most of the women listening put their heads down weeping, almost hiding their tears, as if they were not supposed to cry.  I imagine some men were crying too. There must have been about 200 people there. All the family members were crying. I cried with my head up. Later, I asked other teacher friends if they cried, they said no and almost laughed when I said I did. This is one part of Thai culture I find a little dumbfounding. Life and death seem to be taken so matter of factly. Emotions in check. As we left, the coffin was left on top of the pyre in the sunshine in a beautiful forest of bamboo and other trees. The Thai people are very private about their emotions in public. But, the dramas they watch on TV are so over the top with emotions, by watching them, I am sure they get to vicariously have emotions that throughout the day they must withhold. After the funeral we headed to a food stand run by a woman who has been making Som Tom for over 20 years.  We had at least 4 different kinds of Som Tom.

Giggly fun.

Pre-event tire race.

This week my hill tribe school Chomchon Silalang, had an event I thought was going to be an evening Christmas activity. I had spoken to the teachers about it and I thought we agreed to several activities. I made a schedule of activities with the help of a teacher. We were to read a story aloud in Thai and English. I bought glue and scissors because on Monday, during our 1/2 day of Christmas activities, teachers did not have some of the supplies we needed for students to make Christmas chains and snowflakes. This was not an issue for the teachers or for the students for that matter. Students sat in groups of 10 and patiently waited for their group’s one pair of scissors to make the rounds so they could make their snowflake.

Kru Nan teaching “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.”

doe c doe at Christmas spontaneously created in the moment by the children.

The evening turned out to have nothing to do with Christmas.  But is was fun. The banner read “Fantasy Night For Kids at Chumchon Silalang Dormitory.”  There was a singing and dance competition. But the most important event of the evening was the selection of Mr. and Mrs. Dormitory.  Most of the children live at the school in dorms because they are hill tribe students, mostly Hmong.  Students wore their Hmong traditional clothes, which were absolutely stunning. It appears to have been really well planned. I thought it was fantastic There were so many kids who wanted to sing and dance.  The girls got all dressed up, wearing make up and did wonderful dance pieces, all choreographed by themselves.

Second grader!

A second grade boy was the best.  He sung his heart out like a real pro.  I could not believe it. For each song, the audience, sung along and enjoyed themselves immensely. Winners received tins of goodies and other tokens.

Paw aw and kids.

The sign is partly made from a fishing net and its chains.

Excitement at fantasy night.

Beautiful student who also sang and danced.

The male teachers and Paw Aw (Principal) wore Hmong clothing. I was unsure how I felt about this because later I found out that not one of them was Hmong.  I was disturbed that the Paw Aw was asking the “contestant’s about their clothes and seemed to be making fun of the coins and style of clothes they were wearing. The children were obviously embarrassed. The children at my hill tribe school are so kind and gracious with manners. They waited to receive the candy and goodies distributed to the audience throughout the night. No corrections from teachers and no one was whacked.

Girls vying for Mrs. Dormitory

Two of the boys vying for Mr. Dormitory.

In comparison, at my other school, there was a melee when Santa and his helpers were handing out candy to students in the audience during Christmas Day. Students were whacked. Teachers had to put a stop to the activities and change gears.The assistant principal and a lead teacher took over.  The Assistant Principal asking for volunteers and asking questions, then handing out money to those who volunteered. I sat and watched as I had no role in the event. That day I saw my true teacher… the pressure she feels to show her best and how she works so hard to prove herself, I see why she does not work with me on events. She needs to do these things by herself.  While I was there I asked to hand out rewards to students who received accolades. This common element of school events involves posing with the student with certificate and goodie in hand while getting a photo taken. The big part of the activities was to be a gift exchange. It never happened according to plan. There sat hundreds of beautifully wrapped presents on 10 different tables.  Each present with a number corresponding to the student who was to receive it.

Luckily, earlier in the week I made Santas with the students and because I taught alone (don’t tell). I have no pictures except for this one!

The previous week at my hill tribe school was camp out night.  Girls and boys cook their own food over a wood fire and participate in a bunch of fun evening activities – mostly little skits. Later, they camp outside in tents.  The Paw Aw and community leaders watching drank whiskey and ate hors d’oeuvres. Thai culture is founded in ritual.  Ritual guides behavior at temples, home and at school. Most events and meetings are done with ritual and great pomp. So, first there was a lighting of candles and offerings at the shrine where a cast bronze effigy of the founding father of Pua sat. Teachers knelt on one knee and said prayers. Local political and community leaders, who are always invited to special school events, sat in front row seats an were served water and oranges. An opening statement was read which is formally presently to the principal in a folder. Flower necklaces were then offered to teachers (and myself) by the students who made them.

Yes, teachers also wear boy and girl scout outfits.

yum yum

The sleeping tent.

Now the fun starts. The opening act featured boys dressed as Zulu warriors who danced around in a big circle and the scaffolding of wood soon to be lit. Teachers were singing what sounded like to be a Zulu chant sung in Thai. The Zulu warriors lit the fire and were off.

Zulu warriors in banana leaf skirts.

Apparently the fire was not big enough. One of teachers grabbed the can of gasoline and poured it on the fire, whoosh, the fire doubled in size and reached for the sky.  As the teacher walked away, we noticed the can was also on fire but the teacher carrying did not know it. Shouts got his attention and when he noticed the can on fire, he ran with the can toward the students. He then must of realized that carrying a can of gasoline that was on fire, may not be a good idea. He ran back to the bonfire and tossed the plastic can onto the fire, whoooosh!   Now the fire was reaching outside its original containment but we all drew a sigh of relief.

Girls, wearing pasins, dance a traditional Thai dance around the fire.

The first event really happened before everything started, at the girl’s dormitory. 1st and 2nd grade students were cuddling a baby kitten and I was petting it too when I discovered they had it. I asked where it’s mother was. Of course, it wasn’t there. I should have stopped asking questions. I asked what it was eating or drinking.  They answered “rice.” I said something to the effect of it needs it’s mother’s milk. Yes, this is all in Thai.  I have no explanation for what happened next.  The children had gotten up and the kitten was licking an instant soup bag on the ground.  This made me sad and realize this kitten had a questionable future.  I let go.  It cannot be my problem. I can only show compassion. The next thing I hear is tapping and people talking.  I look over and the kitten is dead with its head splattered on the ground. I think the little girl took the kitten upstairs and tossed it out the dorm window.  As harsh as this sounds, I have no other explanation for it. It was dead. I told another teacher what happened and he came over and basically said mai bpen rai, never mind, it’s all right. And so, here today, gone tomorrow.

Hmong tribe “flower” girls.

This made me think more about the hill tribe children living in the dorms. They have a tough life. They are not used to luxuries, like hot water or new clean clothes. As children they are tough, they hit hard and run fast. They rarely cry. While each dorm has a dorm teacher, there is no mommy to comfort the children at night.  They have no one that tucks them in at night, that rubs their tummy when they have a stomach ache, who wraps them in a towel when they come out of the cold shower.  No one is reading them bed time stories at night and kissing them on the forehead, “sweet dreams honey pie.” These children cannot live a childhood in the sense of how we view childhood.  They grow up fast, learn to take care of themselves and others. They hit the pavement running and are out of mommy’s arms. They are clever, adaptive and resourceful. The older students look after the younger students, as is the norm in Thailand and the pi/nong culture. I do see great friendship and kindness among the students.  Boys walk arm in arm or arm over shoulder.  Girls walk hand in hand.  Boys and girls lie in each other’s arms.  They show great affection to each other.  They need to don’t they?

Buddies.

Many will not finish high school and instead work in the fields to support their families. I hope that isn’t so… The long term picture is that an education would provide a higher standard of living for them and their families. But where will they get the money to go to school? I hope to encourage and inspire as many as I can to stay in school and continue their studies.

The canteen.

Students meditate mornings and evenings.

For my small part, I can visit them in the dorms as often as possible. I serenaded them at Christmas by singing Christmas carols. I want to start a read aloud for them at night on the weekends. There is a new boy’s dorm teacher who is also the music teacher.  He is amazingly accomplished singer, piano and guitar player. He owns a portable piano.  I want to start a sing along with him and the students too. So much potential at this school!  There just has not been a ready time to do so.

Lighting the lanterns.

I am so very lucky.  I live in one of the most beautiful parts of Thailand in a very cool town.  Pua, is at the same time, hip and traditional. It is country but growing. It is like an unadulterated little Chiang Mai. Mostly recently, to add to its coolness is a walking street each Friday and Saturday night. For three winter months, we have a street fair.  Sometimes it is Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights depends on holidays. I have met so many people there.  Some foreign language teachers too. Now, because it is a long holiday weekend, people have come from Bangkok and Chiang Mai to Pua for the break. The street fair offers local Northern food I have never tasted. There is homemade clothing, crafts and singing and dancing performances.  My favorite is children from a mountain village who perform a story through dance and music.  There are rhythmic beats on drums and gongs and boys perform fighting scenes and girls dance traditional dance, some with long fingers. The tip jar is out, of course.

Tanoan kon deun
“walking street”

Don’t miss those orange P.J.’s

Shaved ice, milk, condensed sweetened milk, chewy goodies, yum!

Thin rolled rice crepe in peanut mixture.

Oui and Nong

Thailand is full of cuteness.

2 week old Jack

I would say Pua is a clean and tidy town. But, Pua needs some work.  For one, we need a “Keep Pua Beautiful” campaign to stop littering. My friend who manages the Animai, a health center in Silalang has tried this. I said I would love to help. Maybe next year will be a ripe time. There are garbage containers all over the school grounds but I see students and adults litter.  Plastic bags are everywhere, littering the roads, fields, and school grounds. I was taking with a someone who mentioned the high rate of cancer he has seen among family members.  We both mentioned the plastic bags used for every kind of food, boiling hot or cold. We directly take in the hazardous chemicals leaching from those bags. I started thinking today how I could avoid them.  When I go to the market I could bring plastic containers and have people put the product inside the container.  But, the food has already been sitting in the plastic bag.  I could avoid shopping at the open air market and go to the Tesco Lotus supermarket and buy stuff uncooked and cook everything myself, and buy the fruit and veges in bulk. I like going to the market though.  As a Peace Corps volunteer, one of the things I need is to be around people. It makes me happy to see people I know. Maybe I have my friends in the states send me a few Nalgene bottles – or reusable ziplock plastic bags that can withstand heat, so I can pour soup, and what have you in the bottles.  Thinking…

I am blessed here in Pua. I have even thought about staying another year with or without Peace Corps. Foreign language teachers make good money and their are possibilities of teaching outside the “school” environment. I am totally supported and taken care of in my Peace Corps experience in Thailand.  I have been blessed with dear Thai friends, who I have grown to love. They shower me with kindness.  I see and learn the culture through their actions. I also realize we are not so different. Visiting my house recently, the husband of my friend waited at the door after he parked the car but would not come in if I just gestured to come in. He waited until I opened the door and then he wai’d me (palms at chest level and bow). So formal…. They brought a passion fruit plant and some bananas. If you are visiting with a friend, it is common to bring fruit as simple gesture of appreciation and generosity. I saw two of my friends, whose names I can now recite, Oui and Pong, at the street fair yesterday.  We went to Laos together in November. I sat and talked with them and then parted. About an hour later I saw them again and they bought me a necklace from the vendor I was visiting. The vendor happens to live across the field from me, whose daughter I teach at one of the schools. She said her daughter came over to see me once on her bike and I was not home. I said I was open to have her come over for a little English tutoring. I have never really told people that before. It seemed the right thing to do in the moment. This I only know because I happened to stop and look at the clothing she was selling. It took about 15 minutes before she revealed our common connections. Everything is done not to inconvenience someone else.  Now, I have another friend.

Happy New Year everyone!  I am going to two parties tonight – so I can play with friends in two different villages.

May you have a blessed new year filled with joy, new growth and courage to live life to its fullest. I owe my spirit of adventure to my mother, my step-dad, my dad and many friends who live their dreams, because really,…. merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream!